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Finding Closure: Letting Go of Resentment and Moving on from Deceitful Relationships

Writer's picture: Brent DyerBrent Dyer

So, are you like me and you're tired of carrying around the weight of resentment from toxic relationships? It's time for us to find closure and let go of the past for good. In this blog post, I'll explore strategies to help us move on from toxic connections and embrace a brighter future. Get ready to release the negativity and step into a new chapter of hope and healing. Let's do this together!


Why do People Lie and the Impact of Deceitful Relationships


Deception is a common occurrence in relationships - even in communities of faith - and it can take on many forms, from small white lies to more serious betrayals. While some people may lie with malicious intent, others do so out of fear or insecurity. Regardless of the reason, lying can have a significant impact on relationships and can lead to feelings of resentment, mistrust, and hurt.


So why do people lie? The reasons are complex and often vary depending on the person and the situation. One common reason for lying is to avoid consequences or punishment for one's actions. This can be seen in children who lie to their parents about breaking a rule or in adults who fabricate stories to cover up their mistakes.


Another reason for lying is to protect oneself from being vulnerable or judged by others. In romantic relationships, individuals may lie about their past experiences or feelings to avoid rejection or criticism from their partner. This fear of vulnerability often stems from past traumas or insecurities that make it difficult for individuals to open up honestly.


In my person experience, I've seen some people lie out of habit or as a means of gaining control over a situation. They may manipulate information to influence others' perceptions or outcomes in their favor. This type of lying is often seen in work environments.

Regardless of the underlying reasons for lying, maintaining deceitful behavior in a relationship has severe consequences. It erodes trust and creates an atmosphere of constant suspicion and doubt. Over time, this can lead to feelings of resentment towards the liar and even towards oneself for allowing the deception to continue.


Deceitful relationships often have an emotional toll on those involved. Constantly questioning someone's honesty takes a toll on one's mental well-being and can lead to anxiety, stress, and even depression. It also hinders effective communication and prevents genuine connection, leading to a sense of loneliness and isolation.


Understanding Resentment and Its Effects on Our Mental Health


Resentment is a powerful emotion that can have detrimental effects on our mental health if left unchecked. It is often described as a feeling of bitterness, anger, and disappointment towards someone or something that has wronged us. In the context of deceitful relationships, resentment can be directed towards the person who betrayed us or even towards ourselves for allowing the deception to occur.


One of the main reasons resentment can be harmful to our mental health is because it keeps us stuck in the past. When we hold onto feelings of anger and bitterness, we are constantly reliving the hurtful event and preventing ourselves from moving on. This cycle of negative thoughts and emotions can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. We need to stop letting those people live rent-free in our minds!


Furthermore, resentment can also affect our relationships with others. It may cause us to become withdrawn or defensive, making it difficult for us to trust others and form meaningful connections. We may also project our feelings onto others who do not deserve it, which can strain relationships and create more sources of conflict.


Moreover, holding onto resentment can also have physical effects on our bodies. Studies have shown that chronic feelings of anger and bitterness can increase blood pressure, weaken the immune system, and contribute to heart disease. This highlights the importance of addressing these negative emotions before they take a toll on our overall well-being.

It is important to understand that while resentment may seem like a natural response to being deceived in a relationship, it ultimately only hurts you and me. By holding onto these emotions, we are giving power to the person who hurt us instead of taking control of our own healing process.


So how do we overcome resentment and its damaging effects? The first step is acknowledging its presence in our lives. Often times we may not even realize that we are harboring feelings of bitterness until they start affecting various aspects of our life.

Once we recognize these emotions, it is essential to work through them in a healthy way. This could mean talking to a trusted friend or therapist, writing in a journal, or engaging in activities that bring us joy and peace. It is also important to practice forgiveness, not for the sake of the other person, but for our own well-being.


Identifying Signs of Deceitful and/or Toxic Relationships:


In the previous section, I talked about the importance of recognizing and acknowledging resentment in order to move on from toxic relationships. However, it is equally important to be able to identify signs of lying and toxicity in a relationship before things escalate and cause long-lasting damage.


Here are some common signs that indicate a deceitful relationship:


1) Lack of Communication: One of the first signs of a deceitful relationship is a lack of open communication. If you find that your partner, friend, or coworker is constantly hiding things from you or avoiding important conversations, it could be a red flag.


2) Dishonesty: This may seem obvious, but if your partner, friend, or coworker tells lies or withholds information from you consistently, it can create a toxic environment in the relationship. It's important to pay attention to any discrepancies in their stories or behavior.


3) Secretive Behavior: In addition to dishonesty, secretive behavior can also be a sign of deceit in a relationship. If your partner, friend or corworker suddenly starts password-protecting their phone or computer, becomes defensive when asked about their whereabouts, or avoids introducing you to their friends and family, it could be an indication that they are hiding something.


4) Lack of Trust: A lack of trust can stem from both parties in a deceitful relationship. If you find yourself constantly doubting your partner's words and actions or feeling like they are not being truthful with you, it may mean that trust has been broken within the relationship.


6) Manipulation and Control: Deceitful partners, friends and coworkers often use manipulation and control as tactics to keep their significant other under their thumb. This can include gaslighting (making someone doubt their own sanity), guilt-tripping, or using threats to keep the other person in line.


It's important to note that experiencing one or more of these signs does not necessarily mean your partner, friend, or coworker is intentionally deceitful. However, it's crucial to address any concerns and have open communication about them in order to maintain a healthy and honest relationship.


Healing from Hurt and Letting Go of Resentment:


It is natural for anyone who has been hurt in a deceitful relationship to feel a range of negative emotions, including anger, betrayal, and resentment. These feelings can be overwhelming and can hinder the healing process. However, it is crucial to acknowledge and address these emotions in order to move on from the pain and find closure.


The first step towards healing from hurt and letting go of resentment is to understand that it is okay to feel these emotions. It is normal for someone who has been hurt to experience anger and resentment towards them. It is important not to suppress these feelings but rather allow yourself to fully feel and process them.


Next, it is essential to identify the root cause of your resentment. Is it because you feel betrayed? Do you blame yourself for trusting someone who deceived you? Understanding the source of your resentment can help you gain clarity and perspective on the situation.

Once you have identified the root cause, it is time to let go of any expectations or desire for revenge. Holding onto grudges only harms you and me in the long run. It does not affect those who have wronged us but only creates more negativity within us. Instead, we have to focus on forgiving ourselves for any mistakes we may have made in the relationship and forgive the other person as well.


Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or excusing actions; it means freeing yourself from the burden of carrying around anger and bitterness toward other people. It allows us to break free from their hold over our emotions and take back control over our lives.

Another helpful tip in healing from hurt and letting go of resentment is practicing self-care. Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being by engaging in activities that bring joy, peace, and positivity into your life. This could include spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies or interests, going for walks or practicing mindfulness and self-reflection.


Understand that healing takes time. It is not an overnight process, and it is okay to still feel hurt or angry at times. But with each passing day, as you continue to practice forgiveness and self-care, you will slowly but surely let go of resentment and find closure in the situation.


Strategies for Finding Closure and Moving On

Moving on from a deceitful and/or toxic relationship can be an incredibly challenging and emotional process. It may feel like there is no closure or resolution, leaving you feeling stuck and unable to move forward. However, it is important to remember that finding closure is ultimately about letting go of resentment and forgiving yourself and the other person involved. Here are some strategies for finding closure and moving on from a deceitful relationship.


1. Acknowledge your feelings: The first step towards finding closure is to acknowledge all of your emotions - anger, sadness, disappointment, betrayal, etc. It's important to give yourself permission to feel these emotions without judgment or shame. Often times, we try to suppress our feelings in order to avoid the pain, but this only prolongs the healing process.


2. Practice self-care: In order to find closure and move on, it's crucial that you take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. This could mean getting enough rest, eating well-balanced meals, engaging in activities that bring you joy or seeking support from friends and family.


3. Let go of blame: It's natural to want someone else to take responsibility for their actions in a deceitful relationship. However, holding onto blame will only keep you stuck in a cycle of resentment and anger. Try shifting your focus towards forgiveness instead of seeking revenge or punishment.


4. Seek outside help: Sometimes it can be helpful to seek out therapy or counseling during this process of finding closure and moving on. A trained professional can provide guidance on how best to cope with difficult emotions and help you work through any unresolved issues.


5.Work towards forgiveness: Forgiveness does not mean condoning what the other person did; rather it means choosing not hold onto grudges anymore or allow their actions to continue affecting your life negatively.


6.Set boundaries: To fully let go of resentment and move on from a deceitful relationship,it's important to establish clear boundaries with the person. This means limiting or cutting off contact if necessary, and avoiding situations that may trigger negative emotions.


7.Focus on the present: It's easy to get caught up in the past and what could have been done differently. However, finding closure requires us to let go of what we cannot change and focus on the present. Try engaging in activities that bring you joy and living in the moment.


8.Learn from the experience: As difficult as it may be, try to view this deceitful relationship as a learning experience. Reflect on your own actions and behaviors, and use this knowledge to make healthier choices in future relationships.


9.Practice gratitude: In moments of pain and resentment, it can be helpful to shift our perspective towards gratitude. Take time each day to think about something you are grateful for - whether it's a supportive friend or a beautiful sunset. This can help bring positivity into your life and aid in finding closure.


10.Be patient with yourself: Finding closure takes time and patience. Be gentle with yourself during this process and remember that healing is not linear - there will

Conclusion: Embracing Forgiveness and Learning to Trust Again

The journey towards closure and letting go of resentment can be a difficult one, especially when it involves deceitful relationships. However, it is important to remember that forgiveness and learning to trust again are key components in finding true closure and moving on from the pain.


Embracing forgiveness does not mean excusing the actions of the person, or people, who caused you harm. It means releasing yourself from the burden of anger and bitterness towards that person. Forgiveness is a process, and it may take time to fully let go of hurtful emotions. It is also important to note that forgiving someone does not mean that you have to continue having a relationship with them. Sometimes, forgiveness is for your own peace of mind rather than reconciliation with the other person.


Forgiving someone allows you to take back control of your life and focus on healing and moving forward. It also allows you to break free from being defined by what happened to you in the past. By choosing forgiveness, you are choosing growth over stagnation and resilience over victimhood.


Learning to trust again after experiencing deceit can be challenging, but it is possible. Trust takes time to build, so do not rush into trusting someone new right away. Take things slow and pay attention to red flags or gut feelings. Use your past experience as a lesson for future relationships instead of carrying it as baggage.


In some cases, rebuilding trust may involve seeking professional help or counseling together with the person who betrayed you. This will allow for an open dialogue where both parties can express their feelings and work towards rebuilding a healthy level of trust.

Remember that embracing forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened or pretending like it never occurred. Acknowledge what happened but choose not to dwell on it anymore. Use the experience as a lesson and move forward with a stronger sense of self-awareness and self-worth.


Finding closure and letting go of resentment in deceitful relationships may seem like an impossible task at first, but it is possible with forgiveness and learning to trust again. By embracing forgiveness, you are setting yourself free from the pain and empowering yourself to move on towards a brighter future. Trust takes time to rebuild, but it can be restored in new relationships with effective communication, honesty, and patience. Remember that we have the power to heal and find closure within ourselves – let's choose forgiveness and watch ourselves grow stronger than ever before.



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